Couple Sitting at the Bar Funny With Animal Images
John Lund/Blend Images/Corbis
A chameleon walks into a bar. Bartender says, "If your wife calls, I didn't see you."
A Black Widow walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What's your poison?"
A rabbit walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Let me guess, you want a West Coast IPA."
A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender says, "How about a long neck?"
An amoeba walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Pay the tab before you split."
An eel walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Back for more, ay?"
A measle walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Shots for everybody!"
A duck walks into a bar with a bunch of friends, but all his friends ditch him. Bartender says, "I guess the bill's on you."
A lion walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Where's your pride?" [This lion clearly did something shameful last time he was in the bar!]
A goat walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve kids."
Another goat walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Can's for customers only."
A hobbit walks into a bar. Bartender says, "How many times do I have to tell you, we don't have 'Second Happy Hour.'"
A gecko walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Looking for some tail?"
A tree walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I think you'd better leave." The tree doesn't leave so the bartender says, "You must take me for a sap!" Tree says, "Stop your barking and pour me a logger."
A catkin walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Come back when you're Alder." [This is another tree joke.]
A parrot walks into a bar. Bartender grimaces, is very careful not to say anything.
An emu walks into a bar and can't decide what whisky to order. Bartender says, "How about a flight... oh, damn, sorry."
A Shetland pony walks into a bar, has a few drinks, and pulls out a $10. Bartender says, "Sorry pal, you're short."
A mole walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Ouch, that must have hurt."
An ox walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Off the wagon again?"
An owl walks into a bar and says, "Hey, sweetie, how about you get the waitresses to sing me happy birthday?" Bartender says, "Sorry pal, this isn't a Hooters."
An [insert animal here] walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Your Zoosk date is sitting over there."
A sheep walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Welcome to my baa. We are in Boston."
A cheetah walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We are not a spots baa. Which is highly unusual because we are also in Boston."
A beaver walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Close the dam door!"
A bat walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Must be an echo in here."
A nurse shark walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Just so you know, there's a $20 minimum on credit cards."
A gaggle of lemmings walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Ten vodka tonics?"
A bear walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You want to watch the Cubs?" Bear says, "Do you have a secret camera in my house!? Is my family okay!? What do you want from me!?"
A pack rat walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, no smoking."
A dragon walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" Dragon says, "I just had to fire half my employees."
A dung beetle walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Pull up a stool."
A fish walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Shouldn't you be in school?"
A tarantula walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Care for a drink, sir?" Tarantula says, "Call me hairy."
A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar and holds up two fingers. Bartender says, "Five beers, coming right up."
A muleteer walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey Johnny. Still driving that hybrid?"
A lion walks into a bar. Bartender says, "First one's on the house." Lion says, "Thanks, you didn't have to do that." Bartender says, "You know you're my mane man."
A member of the frog family Dendrobatidae walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Here for the darts tournament?" [These are the frogs that shoot the darts, but it's possible that after shooting darts all day at work they wouldn't want to shoot more darts at a bar.]
A buffalo walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Herd any good jokes lately?" Buffalo says, "A member of the frog family... just kidding, that joke is terrible."
Source: https://www.thrillist.com/drink/nation/new-animal-walks-into-a-bar-jokes
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